Friday, January 28, 2011

Salman Butt - A Machiavellian Character

Apparently douchebag supreme Salman’s Butt has not been properly satisfied with the amount of gaalam galoch he has received due to his involvement in the spot fixing scandal. There are many reasons I can think why the loudmouth and slimy former Pakistan captain very conveniently gave an interview labeling Shahid Afridi as a clueless captain.
The Future is Safe Man
Here is what he had to say to a News One reporter about Afridi and Pakistan’s prospects in the upcoming WC.
“Aik banda jo khud clueless ho woh agar aap ko kuch kahay bhi tw us ka khaak asar hona hai"

Somebody should ask this conniving, scheming SOB whether he had any clue where his off-stump was during the majority of his career?
Why was he so clueless during the post-match press conference of the Lord’s test where he had guilty written all over his face and had to consult with the blind and deaf Pakistan manager Yawar Saeed before answering each question?
Why is he still so clueless when answering the question of where the money found in his hotel room came from? First it was his sister’s dowry and now it was for the ice cream parlor.
Butt has absolutely no moral & ethical authority whatsoever of questioning anyone let alone Lala, when his own dealings and character are so dubious. The amount of verbal diarrhea he has spewed after he was caught fixing tells us of a man who is awfully manipulative, is of a dubious character, is envious and is no less than a Machiavellian character.
My dear friend/club captain Nadeem Shahzad who is a big Afridi fan took offence and started a Insult Salman Butt Week Campaign, let's see what he has to say.
Fact 1: Salman Butt's Favorite Indian Movies are Badmaash Company, Jannat and Rajneeti : None of which he has seen beyond intervals coz otherwise he would have known that you reap what you sow.
Fact 2: Contrary to the Rumors, Salman Butt is not the love child of Salman Taseer and Ijaz Butt. Oh and a bookie by the name of Mazhar Majeed confirms he can get Salman Butt to accept the fact he just might be.
Fact 3: According to Salman, his Butt Can speak better English Than Afridi, and so often he is seen talking to his butt while the bowler runs in. I guess Butting into Business is not Salman's fault, he has no control over his Butt.
Fact 4. Salman Butt was Out First Ball on His Debut, Whereas Afridi cracked the fastest ton on his. Thats coz Lala spent the evening before the match hitting Wasim and Waqar out of the park in a Net Session !!! and Butt must have spent his learning how to marinate a Duck on Hell's Kitchen.


  1. I don't get the Salmaan Taseer reference (probably best not to sully the name of the departed by associating them with the likes of Butt), but I have one more fact you can add to this list:

    Captain Clueless still retired with a Test batting average higher than Salman Butt's.

  2. Agreed with @Sana on the Taseer reference.
    Nicely written, and Butt has got D-Bag written all over him, you cannot be an eloquent person just because you can speak better English than your team-mates. Get a life Butt ! No pun intended... and I would love if Salman takes this as an offence...